On Notice

Pull up a chair and grab a drink I have something to say.

DO NOT come to my door and try to sell me something. If I need anything I will call you.

DO NOT stand on my front stoop and try to preach at me after I tell you I’m not interested.

DO NOT have the audacity to tell me that I have disgraced my husband/family/station in life by getting tattoos and piercings.

I WILL stand there and take your picture and note the date and time.

I WILL report you to the police for harassment.

I WILL proceed to lay into you if you insist on standing there and trying to change my mind.

So to the people that this describes…

You may not have verbally called me a bitch but I could tell you wanted to.

SOOOOOOOOO………… let me tell you who you met this morning.

I am a mother and a wife.

I make my own money with my own company and can dress how I want and pierce/tattoo anything I want.

I may let my kids play video games a bit too much but they are happy and healthy.

I cuss like a sailor most of the time and I have no filter 99.9% of the time.

I don’t try to hide behind my religion or anything of the sort when I say something to someone.

I drink and I smoke and I eat too much fast food.

I’m a soda junky and enjoy drinking it.

I have two smart kids that are caring and thoughtful (most of the time). So I’m obviously doing something right.

I have a husband who loves me and tells me everyday that I am his one and only.

Can you say that about your man?

My house may not always be pristine but it’s home.

Quite frankly you can suck it if you don’t like it and if you don’t like my fur babies then you aren’t welcome either.

I have dated women and men and I love them both equally.

I believe in gay marriage and the right to adopt by same sex couples.

I believe in having open and honest conversations with my kids and not sheltering them from the world “for their own protection” because the world sure as hell isn’t going to when they leave my home.

I also believe in calling them out on their shit if they deserve it.

It may not be the “right mom thing to do” but it gets the point across and they are better for knowing whatever it is they’re doing that is either stupid, dangerous, or just annoying.

I’m a big girl and though some may find it horrible that I am not a size 2, I don’t and neither does my husband.

With that said, I work with what I have at any given moment and at this moment and…

I think I look damn good.

Don’t be mad because you can’t rock a pair of leggings and stilettos.

It’s your man who is staring at me when I go out in public.

SOOOOOOO who am I?

I am a mother, wife, business woman, daughter and friend to most.

I am ”that woman” whom you do not like but do not know as I don’t know you.

I am that woman who is dealing everyday with multiple medical conditions and still pulls long days and nights to do what I need to do to take care of mine.

In short I am THE BOSS BITCH and you will never be on my level!

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