reflection

My Number One

Who is your number one?

Who is the most important person in your life? Describe that person in as great a detail as you can muster and most importantly, tell us why you cherish this person.

Some of you are going to think that this sounds super conceited, but the number one person in my life is finally myself. There, I said it. The most important person in my life is me. If you would like to know why I feel that way, please feel free to read further. If you think that as a mother, wife, and daughter that is the wrong answer, you can stop reading now because nothing I write is going to change your mind.

So, why do I feel this way?

Well, for a long time I didn’t feel that way. It was all about the kids, the husband, et cetera. I was tired. I was run down, and I was done. Physically done. The health issues that I have were getting worse, my mental state was at a point where I couldn’t hold a solid thought and the anger that was coming out my person (which I have since found out was caused by Misophonia) was horrid. Long story short, I was lost. In taking care of the kids and the husband I had lost myself. I was so busy tending to what they needed that I didn’t take the time for me. That had to change or I was going to be in the ground by 40.

I had to make time for myself. I had to find my passion again, and once I did I have to follow it. Once I did that, once I admitted to myself that it was okay to have some “me” time, things started to turn around. That simple act has made quite a difference (at least in my mind). I feel lighter. I feel like there is purpose outside of being a mother again. In short, I feel like my old self. I still have a ways to go to get to where I want to be 100%, but it’s a start.

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