Unplugging in this day and age can be hard. For the most part, everyone is connected in some way all the time. For me, it’s my iPhone, Apple Watch, MacBook Pro, iMac, iPad, Apple TV. All things that work so well with each other that it’s hard to put one down when using another one. I have a remote for the Apple TV on my iPhone. That means it’s always right by my side when watching stuff on that. We are always misplacing the remote that came with the ATV, so it’s just easier to grab a phone and control it that way. I’m also that person that would rather text than talk to someone on the phone, so again, iPhone always in my hand. If it’s not the iPhone it’s the other devices that I can use Messages on.
I’m dependent, addicted, and quite frankly happy being connected all the time. I have anxiety when I’m not, and frequently fall asleep with a device in my hand. It’s a problem. I know it. So why am I always connected? Is it because I’m anti-social in person? Yes, and no. If I know you, I like you, and we have a chance to get together I’ll do it. If you are new to my life, I tend to have an “escape” at the ready until I know you well enough to feel comfortable.
I also tend to be more connected than other people I know because my devices are where my music is. Music is my escape. If I’m not listening to music, it’s a sound app playing white noise or some other sound to distract me from the other issues going on around me that trigger my Misophonia and the horrid fight or flight response that comes about when triggered.
I can remember when I was able to sit and eat with friends and family and not have any issues with sounds making me want to get up and run. I remember when I didn’t have to wear earbuds when my husband and I are out in public. I miss that. The more I wear them, the more I have to depend on them. Hearing loss in my left ear is getting worse with each and every day. My right ear is slowly catching up with the other one.
Being unplugged is something that I get as a luxury. A luxury that other take for granted.