I LOST MYSELF IN THE JOURNEY

I started writing decades ago. Back then there wasn’t Facebook, Twitter, all the other socials out there. There was no such thing as internet in your home and my writing tools were notebooks and pens. I researched at the library when I got older. But my fondest memory of writing in elementary school and we’re talking like kinder, was just telling a story. I wasn’t writing for anyone. Half the stuff made no sense. But I was writing.

As I got older things evolved as they do and I started writing thinking maybe some day the world could see it. I still enjoyed the process. It was all about the joy of writing. I still didn’t have to worry about a platform or social media. My research was still done at the library with the occasional AOL assist at home. (If you don’t know what AOL is you’re probably not old enough to read my stuff.)

Then due to having a family and some medical issues I drifted away from writing. I wrote occasionally but not nearly as much as I had in the past. I lost my outlet. I lost a piece of me that at the time I didn’t realize was so big, so important. It was frustrating to say the least.

I started writing again regularly about 10 years ago and decided to publish around 2016 with my first book going live in 2017. I've written three more since and have multiple projects going on right now. All that is good. However, now I had to market myself. That's where I lost me. I spent so much time worrying about having a place that people could find me that I slowed down on publishing what I was writing. I've kept writing since that first book was published. Erotica and Horror, that's what I write. That's what I love. When I get to combine the two that's just awesome. Marketing that I didn't love as much. Who am I kidding, I hated it and still do.

You see, I tend to be an over-thinker. Throw some OCD in there and well, it never ends well. Build the website, switch the platform, realize that's not the best place to have people find me, redo the website, switch the platform again. Sign up for all the social networks that "authors are supposed to be on" and then realize that you have a couple faves and neglect others. Want to build a community, do it on Facebook, have issues with Facebook, switch platforms again so build on site community. Take all that and repeat multiple times over and over until you are just as confused as your reader base.

Realize you need to get your shit together and commit to something so you can just go back to what you love. Writing. Realize you need to set a goal to where you can hire someone to handle all that before you die, freak out, start planning. This is the first part off that plan. Putting in writing what happened in the past so I don't (or at least try) not to do it again.

Now, to figure out where I go from here. What do I need to do to get back to where it made me happy, productive, and able to put out books at regular intervals for my readers. That is going to be the hard part. The really hard part.

If you are a reader of my books and have made it this far, thank you. Thank you for being there through all the ups and down. Thank you for believing in me when I sometimes don't believe in myself. Thank you for being you.

I hope to update with these journal type entries more but I'm not sure how frequent they will be.

Until next time, Sayre